"And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." 1 John 4:16
I should have known that when I posted yesterday about not worrying, I soon would be faced with a 'growth' opportunity myself! Little did I realize that it would arrive just hours after my posting, and in the area that I struggle with the most when it comes to worrying - money.
My husband finally had a few minutes yesterday to start looking at our taxes. He wanted to get a ballpark figure of how much money we would be receiving in refund this year. It turns out that our nice chunk of change we usually receive from the Federal government will instead be leaving our pockets, and going back into theirs. Not exactly the type of news I wanted to hear just minutes before resting my head on the pillow last evening.
My mind immediately started whirring. We already have had several extra expenses the past few weeks than we anticipated. With the news of owing for taxes, we will have had almost $2000 of expenditures, over and above our normal bills for the month. Yikes!! We haven't even looked at our local and state taxes yet.
After announcing this news to me, my husband wanted to know how much money was in the bank, and discuss this matter a little further. I knew if I continued to dwell on i,t I wouldn't get any sleep, so I asked if we could talk about it today. He rolled over and promptly fell asleep. I normally would have tossed and turned, but instead I paused and prayed, "Lord, this isn't a surprise to you. Help me to rest in you tonight." I then quoted the verse I memorized in February. "I will lie down in peace and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe." (Psalm 4:8)
Guess what? I fell asleep quickly and had a restful night's rest. Granted the financial concerns are still facing us and honestly I don't know how God will provide, but I trust that He hasn't given us more than we can handle. I rely on His love for me. Of course there is part of me that wants to cry out. I had great hopes of starting a writing course soon, but at this point I can't justify the money to do it. I still have struggles and times when I slip back in worrying, but I still pray that trust will become more of a characteristic of my life instead.
Those times of putting my faith into action can be extremely difficult. I choose this day to put my trust in God. I claim the promise that He doesn't give us more than we can handle. I know He loves me, and I rest in that knowledge.