A Call for Help

I'm working on a pitch for the American Christian Fiction Writer's conference that I will be attending next week. A pitch is a hook written in 25 words or less, with the goal of arousing curiosity in an editor to want to know more about your story.

Here is my pitch:

The light keeper’s daughter secretly longs to follow in her father’s footsteps. However her best friend’s overbearingly, pleasant brother threatens to thwart her aspirations.

I need your help. When you read this does it cause any questions to come to mind, and if so what? Any suggestions or comments?