Most of my life I have been a glass is half empty type of gal. I'm not sure exactly why, but I have often struggled with being more negative when it comes to looking at things. This is something that I asked the Lord to change about me several years ago. I found that as I looked at the negative side of things, I became more negative. Not a pretty picture and definitely not encouraging.
This morning the Lord reminded me of how far I have come. I can't say that I always look at the positive side of things now, but often I do. When something negative does happen in my life, I try to remind myself that God is not surprised by the situation and I know that I can trust Him. I find that often if not always, being positive is a choice that I can make. Will I choose to see the bright side? Will I choose to walk in faith and believe in God for this circumstance?
I guess my biggest struggle is that last June I attended She Speaks, because I knew that God wanted me to be there. I had just finished writing a book with Bible study on the Proverbs 31 woman. On a real step of faith I met with a representative from a publishing company. I was scared to death. But the night before, I had given my writing to the Lord for Him to do with it whatever He wanted, whether that meant being published or not. I had two editor appointments. The first one I was really nervous, and they weren't interested. The second one I just felt more relaxed and less nervous. I was able to talk passionately about my book proposal. I was shocked when she said that she wanted to take it along back with her. That was ten months ago. I have heard no word since then, even though I have emailed and written a couple letters to inquire about the status of my proposal.
Since then I have written and submitted a devotional, a home school article, entered a poetry contest, and have not received word from any of them. This year I really felt the Lord was encouraging me to be more active about pursuing publishing. This is probably where I have the hardest time being a 'half full' type of gal. The enemy keeps reminding me of past failures. As I try to make that choice to look at things positively, will you pray for me?
I have received almost 200 responses back from my survey of the ten struggles that Christian women face. I still would like to get 300 more from various churches around the country. I have a huge task ahead of me of compiling all of the results and then coming up with something to write about it. I'm at the stage right now where I'm afraid to fail. The task ahead looks pretty daunting. I pray that the Lord will not only give me ideas for this book but also provide the women that are willing to share their ten struggles. I pray that I will be able to look at this project as half full.
Which would you say that you are of the two? How do you deal with things when they seem impossible?