I have been thinking about life on the edge today. For many years of our marriage (almost twenty) I have not been overly concerned about finances. We had a very loose budget. Sure there were some times when things were tight, but God always provided for our needs.
God continues to provide for our needs. We now are at a situation in our lives when money is extremely tight. We are now on a strict budget. God had been changing my heart tremendously in the area of our finances. I now actually desire to be on a budget and to be like Jesus said in the Parable of the Talents (Matthew 25:14-30) - to be that faithful steward of the money He has given us. Throughout our marriage we have done reasonably well with this, but I also know that there are some areas that I need to improve.
We have had to cut back and have no purchasing of "extras". I even have tried to cut back on our grocery bill as much as I possibly can. Our vacation food will consist of odds and ends that I can scrounge out of the cupboard, as well as a few extras that I purchase at the grocery store before we leave.
So what is "life on the edge"? Lately it is living paycheck to paycheck and not always knowing if we will have enough money to pay the bills for the month. It is faithfully tithing even when we don't know if we will have enough money to pay our bills. It is stepping out in faith to go on a trip that will be a little costly. We feel that God is calling us to Florida to check out a potential college for our son to attend in a little over a year. We have part of our stay covered through a time share that was given us. We will have the expense of three nights we are staying at the college, as well as the gas for the trip. We have one day left on a Disney pass that is supposed to still be good. The rest of the time will be spent doing free things, or just hanging out as a family. We plan to take along games to play together. We do not plan to eat out at all while we are gone - can't afford to. We do have a $20 gift card to Chick Fil A that we might use. We will get to see the Fort Walton Beach area where my husband spent several years as a kid.
Life on the edge is a scary position to be in. Part of me wants to question God of why things are so rough now that my heart is finally changed and desiring to do what is right. I do find though that I am in prayer much more often and am really trying to give it to Him and not to worry. I sure would appreciate your prayers. I guess sometimes it takes us being on the edge to take that leap of faith and trust that God is going to catch us.